Wednesday, December 10
If you really want to up your lower Westheimer street cred, head out tonight to check Indie-psych rockers Spain Colored Orange, who have developed an enjoyably quirky live show. Accidentally make reference to their show the following day to your friends and make sure to use the words “sonic” and “ethereal.” You’ll automatically be the hippest accountant in your department.
Thursday, December 11
Vino 100: Champagne Tasting
I’ve never been to a Champagne Tasting –I hear they’re fun, though- so I’m not accustomed to usual prices, but $40 seems a bit much. I mean, with that same $40 I could get 20 Lonestar tallboys and 20 single pattie cheeseburgers. I’m classy like that.
Friday, December 12
Orange Show: Christmas in East End
The Christmas in the East End festival is pretty much exactly the same as a Christmas Festival in, say, River Oaks. Except instead of Santa Claus, Pancho Claus reigns king. And instead of a sleigh, he rides to the show in a lowrider. And instead of Christmas cookies there are Mexican delicacies. But other than that, yeah, it’s exactly the same.
Saturday, December 13
Old Downtown Tomball: German Christmas Market
And since you just reached below the border for a bit of spicy-Christmas yesterday, why not follow it up with a bit more sauerkrauty version by paying a visit to Tomball’s German Christmas Market? It’ll probably be really funny if you keep pronouncing Santa Claus “Santa Clowess.” Surely nobody’s thought of that before.
City of Tomball
200 Market St.
Sunday, December 14
St. Thomas High School: Buffalo Bayou Kayak Tour
Surely you’ve fantasized about kayaking down the majestic flowing grace that is Buffalo Bayou before, and thanks to those wily water enthusiasts at St. Thomas high school you now can. $50 per person gets you everything you’ll need for the trip, except of course the friend with low esteem that you’ll peer pressure into going with you.
Monday, December 15
Alley Theatre: A Christmas Carol (play)
I've really got my fingers crossed that somebody comes up with a stage adaptation to the big screen epic A Christmas Story. In the meantime, A Christmas Carol will have to do, I suppose.
Tuesday, December 16
Toyota Center: New Orleans Hornets vs. Houston Rockets
Catch the new look Rockets as they take on Chauncey Billups and the suddenly relevant Denver Nuggets. Remember, Ron Artest, of Brawl at the Palace of Auburn Hills fame, is with the Rockets now, so there’s a slight, slight chance that you may be punched in the face by a professional athlete at the game. Good luck.
Wednesday, December 17
Houston Museum of Natural Science: Body Worlds 2 & The Brain: Our Three Pound Gem exhibit
If you’ve never seen Body World’s before, it really is a must. Essentially, Dr. GvH has “plasticized” more than 200 human specimens, removing their skins and exposing the “machine which winds the springs” for the world’s gawking eyes. Do not underestimate the creepiness of this exhibit. Price is $17-25 dollars.
Thursday, December 18
Toyota Center: Concert
You’d be hard pressed to find a rapper more relevant right now than Lil’ Wayne. (Kanye West may have something to say about that assertion, though.) You’d also be hard pressed to find a rapper more idiosyncratic that Lil’ Wayne. (Kanye West may have something to say about that assertion, too.) He’ll be in concert tonight with Keyshia Cole and the annoyingly auto-tuned chorus king T-Pain. Check him out.
Friday, December 19
Houston Museum of Natural Science- The Birth of Christianity: A Jewish Story
The press release bills this as a display of ancient scrolls, objects, and artifacts that allows “the story of two of the world’s most influential religions [to] unfold,” but the real entertainment will probably come from counting how many tools make really edgy and clever Mel Gibson jokes. The over/under is set at 14 1/2, by the way.
Houston Museum of Natural Science
Saturday, December 20
Toyota Center: College Basketball Doubleheader
What’s better than seeing the Texas Longhorns lose at anything? Why, seeing the Aggies lose on the same day, of course. See both of them for the price of one at this midday doubleheader. And make sure you mention how the Football Longhorns didn’t make it to the National Championship game. I’m sure their fans will appreciate it.
Sunday, December 21
Reliant Park: Disney on Ice – Disneyland Adventure
I don’t know about you, but sometimes I get an aching in my bones to buy my kids a $19* coke. Fortunately, Disney on Ice is in town and they allow me to do just that. It also lets me see androgynous cartoon characters fiddle around on ice skates, which is another hobby of mine.
Monday, December 22
Houston Museum of Natural Science: Photography Exhibit
I won’t lie, I’ve never been terribly interested in looking at pictures of rocks/geographic landscapes/etc, but photographer Michael Collier has some really noteworthy shots of just those things. Give it a whirl, you may come away surprised. Even if you’re not, at least you’ll sound intelligent tomorrow when you tell people that’s how you spent Sunday night.
Houston Museum of Natural Science